Wednesday, July 18, 2012

a poem...

I'm currently working on online school right now, doing credit recovery for junior english (it's a long story). One of the recent assignments was to write a poem about an experience or memory you have. 

The assignment guidelines were pretty broad at first, but then they were like "blah blah blah, write it this way, write it that way." So I'm thinking, "Girl, please. I'll write it however the heck I want to."

Writing comes pretty easily for me. And although I haven't written a poem for quite some time, the words came pretty naturally to me. 

I wrote about a specific experience in my life, one that was about a broader theme and major stage/period in my life. I think you can get a pretty good idea of what it was that I was going through, but it's not like, in-your-face obvious. Poetry shouldn't be like that anyways. 

So before I turn in a final draft, I would very much appreciate some feedback/suggestions/critiques... if anyone out there is reading this...

 In a Hospital Bed

It wasn't until then that I fully understood
the gravity of it all;
Sitting in a hospital bed,
inspecting the newly printed wristband.

Hours before my life 
could have been considered normal.
But that was before,
that was before.

Were things really that bad?
How did I end up here?
Monitored at all times, I wasn't a carefree teenager anymore,
I was their patient.

Worried eyes examined
my hollow face that morning;
Rigid, yet frail bones
poked out from my ghostly skin.

But that was before,
that was before.

I remember the dinner of chicken and tortillas
I had ingested that night in my room;
While the nurse made subtle glances
to make sure I was eating.

It took everything out of me 
to keep from breaking down
and crying.

Lost in my thoughts, my eyes met the gaze
of a little old lady standing outside my doorway,
"I just wanted to tell you that you're very pretty."

I smiled and thanked her as she went on her way.
Why couldn't I see what she saw
when I stood in front of the mirror,
staring at the face and body I disgusted.

But that was before,
That was before.

Thoughts, comments? Please post below!

taylor :]

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