If I didn't think about it, maybe the telephone might ring. Sometimes it does that. If I could think of something else. If I could think of something else. Maybe if I counted five hundred by fives, it might ring by that time. I'll count slowly. I won't cheat. And if it rings when I get to three hundred, I won't stop; I won't answer until I get to five hundred. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty.... Oh please ring. Please.'
-Excerpt from "A Telephone Call" by Dorothy Parker
Ever feel like that? I know I have.
But not for the longest time, which kind of saddens me, to tell you the truth. You, of course, being my pretty much non-existent readers.
Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me.. why can everyone else around me so easily find someone who cares for them, and I'm just sitting here, alone. And then at times I get truly spiteful in my mind, thinking that I would be a much better girlfriend, and they don't even know it. But that's mean, and I should be happy for them, right?
Well it's not so easy when you've been single (and oh-so ready to mingle) for over a year. And I realize that this post sounds very whiny and boo-hoo-ish. My apologies. But its been on my mind for a while now.
I can't really remember the last time I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach, or desperately awaited a phone call, or even just a text. And the thing is, to be completely honest, to fall in love is perhaps the only thing I ever want in life. Seriously.
Okay, now I really sound like some whiny teenage girl.
But I'm not. Because, as hard as it is to remember it at times, I know that everything happens for a reason, and on God's time. I have to remember that just because I'm not currently in a cute, little high school relationship right now, doesn't mean that I'll never find love; that I'm doomed to be the little old lady living all alone. No. It means that God is preparing someone really really special for me, and I just need to be patient.
In fact, if anyone else finds themselves in a similar situation, maybe God is trying to tell us that not only is He preparing someone wonderful for each of us, but that we need to start preparing ourselves in order to be worthy of what they are becoming.
There is always room to grow.